Place Your Bets!
June 14th 2006 @ 10:50 am All Categories,In The News

I’ve decided to go into the “bookie” business… I’m starting wagers on who will inherit the Earth. Due to recent events in the news, it looks like robots are out in front.

But there’s still a chance that the apes could take it from the robots. Robots will need some time to advance it’s A.I. and form a society before they can imprison us in underground caves where we’ll mine ore for their armor. Apes already have a societal structure and with their advancing intelligence, they just need to learn how to operate weapons, and with mankind fighting itself over religion and territory, the apes will easily flank us and next thing you know, we’ll be stuck in cages screaming, “IT’S A MAD HOUSE, A MAD HOUSE!!!”

Today Koko is asking for an Apple, tomorrow she could be handing out XM8 assault rifles to her fellow apes and using her sign language to tell them to kill all men (I say, we kill Koko now, just in case).

While a distant third, there is still a chance that invasion from UFOs could take the planet, that could happen tomorrow and beat the robots and apes both in taking over the Earth, so you can also place your bet on that one if you like.

So, here are the odds so far, these could change due to any news articles showing advancement in robot technology or ape intelligence (or alien hostility).

Robots take over Earth and either enslave or exterminate mankind.

8 to 1 payout

Apes take over and man is turned into mute, over-dramatic cavemen and kept in cages.

18 to 1 payout

UFOs invade and blow up White House with big super power laser from bottom of ship.

37 to 1 payout

-Bonus wager-

Mexicans take over and exterminate mankind.

– 4 to 1 payout

Please deposit all bets at the Paypal website to Leave a comment on who your betting on.


(While Koko’s vocabulary is quite impressive, there was a sign that was missing from her lexicon that she should know, so I constructed my own…)

Koko Signs Metal

rss 5 comments
  1. matthew
    June 15th, 2006 | 8:18 am

    What about the cockroaches? Anything with the word cock in it is bound to inherit something. My own life has been ruled by a cock since I can remember. Give me a payout on cockroaches inheriting the earth (I also hear they are nearly immune to radiation).:twisted:

  2. Rick
    June 15th, 2006 | 1:00 am

    What about the meek? I heard the meek will inherit the Earth.

  3. Rudy
    June 15th, 2006 | 8:10 am

    No, that was quoted by Rush on 2112. Can rock star become a profit like Jesus? John Lennon was vilified for saying the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. And the Apes will develop into two different groups defined by what version of sign language they use. The two different groups will go to war and end up just like us Humans. Bummer, but it’s in their genes! A.I. will rule just like it was prophesied in that great film War of the Worlds only to be conquered by disease carrying cockroaches that evolve to the size of the one in Men in Black! Hmmm, John Lennon did say something about Beatles?

  4. June 15th, 2006 | 10:08 am

    Maybe I should have specified who, with ego, will inherit the Earth… In other words… inheriting the Earth with arrogance (like us humans did), so cockroaches won’t apply here, even if they’re the last life on Earth, they’re just gonna crawl around doing the same thing their doing now, eating shitting, and fucking,… they won’t try and “rule” the Earth.

    Now, regarding the meek shall inherit the Earth, regardless of which prophets uttered the words, Jesus, or Rush… (I’m sure Jesus said a bunch of cool stuff, but I think that I like Rush better, “Closer to the Heart”, Hmph… Jesus WISHES he wrote that song. Some other killer Rush songs, “Time Stand Still”, very profound… ooh, “Subdivisions” is good, we’ve all been there. Don’t forget “Freewill” You can choose a ready guide, In some celestial voice, If you choose not to decide, You still have made a choice. Whoa!!! I’m still tripping trying to figure that line out… “Witch Hunt” makes ya think… “The Big Money” and “Roll The Bones”, can’t have a society without money and chance… And while this song is not a Rush song, I can tell that Rush was obviously the inspiration for Spinal Tap when they wrote it… See if you can wrap your head around these lyrics…

    When we die, do we haunt the sky?
    Do we lurk in the murk of the seas?
    What then? Are we born again?
    Just to sit asking questions like these?
    I know, for I told me so,
    And I’m sure each of you quite agrees:
    The more it stays the same, the less it changes!

    Here’s the whole song:

    Oh yeah, back to the meek shall inherit the Earth. Okay, one dictionary states:

    Showing patience and humility; gentle.
    Easily imposed on; submissive.

    So, I would say that both apes and robots, in their current form are meek… while apes can get angry, their easily imposed on by men, which is easily observed by which side of the cage their on… and robots, until they get their shit together, are pretty submissive and weak… In it’s present state, I could totally kick that Asimo’s ass write now… I’d probably just have to kick it over and watch it struggle on it’s back like a pathetic little pill bug.


    Aliens, I’m guessing, aren’t so weak, they’re just waiting until the time is right for them before they wipe us out with they’re heat ray, so Rick, if you choose meek, you still have a choice between ape or robot.

  5. matthew
    June 15th, 2006 | 12:30 pm

    Can I do the nasty with the lanky humanoid form next to Asimo? I’d like to be Captain Kirk and spread my intergalactic seed. Then maybe our children would inherit the earth…or not…I don’t guess I’d give a shit at that point.

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