Awesome Movie Reviews: Hollow Man
February 15th 2006 @ 4:27 pm All Categories,Movie Reviews
Hollow Man DVD Cover

Last night Farah and I watched Hollow Man on DVD. I actually saw this movie in the theater when it first came out, but because invisible man movies are so awesome, I bought the DVD and like to watch it again and again from time to time.

The story goes like this, Sebastian Somebody-or-other, played by Kevin Bacon, is an awesome scientist hired by the government to work on making people invisible. The story starts out that he’s already figured out how to make animals invisible, but is having trouble bringing them back to a visible state. He finally cracks the problem and, after experimenting with few Gorillas, he decides to experiment on himself without authorization from his government bosses.

Elizabeth Shue

He cons his team, who also includes a smokin’ Elizabeth Shue, into thinking that he does have authorization to experiment on himself, so they go along with him and they make him invisible, but when it’s time to bring him back, the irradiated chemical concoction that worked on the apes doesn’t work on him and Sebastian stays invisible. Sebastian is pretty much an asshole. Confident and arrogant, he thinks he can do no wrong, so he’s always talking shit to people. While invisible, he goofs with and spys on his co-workers, getting off on his invisibility. There is one horrific moment when, right before Sebastian is made invisible, we have to tolerate seeing Kevin Bacon’s naked ass, but the movie makes up for it later when we get to see some boobage. While invisible, Sebastian sneaks out of his quarters and creeps into the control room and feels up a female co-worker while she’s sleeping. This was pretty cool. While he’s feeling her up, you can see her boob all moving around and getting felt up, but since he’s invisible, you can’t see Sebastian’s hand! It was weird and creepy, but hot at the same time! Unfortunately, we never get to see Elizabeth Shue’s boobs.

All efforts to find a way to bring Sebastian back fail, and being invisible for longer than was initially expected starts making him crazy, angry, and violent. So, now you’ve got this nuts-o asshole running around being lame, and he’s really beginning to dig his “gift” of invisibility and wants to keep it, but his co-workers are crying that they’re going to go tattle on him to his government boss and figure out a way to bring him back… Sebastian realizes that the only way to keep his invisibility intact and a secret from the world is to kill everyone who knows about his invisibility.

Hollow Man

The special effects are eye-popping which makes this movie a super-awesome, ten plus-plus rating. And, yeah, yeah, there are flaws in the story, dialogue, acting, continuity, characters, action, details, etc, etc… But the invisible special effects are so fucking bad-ass, that none of that matters.

Farah, works in a lab, and she started whining about them not following proper lab procedures and shit like that. In one scene, Elizabeth Shue’s character is drinking a product placement Coca-Cola while in the lab doing some lab work. Farah got all uptight about that. She says that there’s no way food or drink would be allowed in a lab while experiments are being conducted. Hmph, if it was me and I was thirsty, I’d drink a goddamn Coke while experimenting, I do it all the time while working at my computer and I’ve only spilled two of the Cokes on my keyboard, and it still works fine… So what’s the problem! Hmph, proper procedures,… no Cokes while doing an experiment… Bullshit! Farah and her proper procedures… I know if Coca-Cola offered HER company a million dollars of funding, she’d get a new memo outlining a new “procedure”, that all employees are now required to drink a six-pack of Coke in the lab each day. Hmph, dis’ my fucking movie… Let’s see YOU create an invisibility potion, then I’ll start listening to you about “proper procedures.”

Although, I do have to admit, I had some problems with the “science” of the movie myself. You see, the invisibility thing works like this, some irradiated chemical concoction is injected into the animal or person and it produces some sort of quantum phase shift in the cells of the body making the cells completely invisible. This all makes perfect sense, but at one point in the movie, Sebastian is barfing after having some tests done to him and the barf is invisible. Now, if he’d just eaten some of his product placement Twinkiesâ„¢, like he’d been doing, eating them through the entire movie, then he should be barfing up all these half digested Twinkies into the toilet. Although,.. it could be that his stomach was empty and he was just barfing up stomach acids that were created by his quantum shifted invisible body or something, so I guess the invisible barf thing could fly… But then I got to thinking, what about poo. Poo is just the left over waste from food that doesn’t get used, digested, and processed by the body, so shouldn’t THIS waste still be visible? Shouldn’t Sebastian be walking around, all invisible, but with a big, long visible poo log wrapping around inside his invisible intestines? If they’d thought about this detail, I’d have more respect for the flick… But, at the same time, I also understand that I have a weird gift for noticing these kind of details that that not everyone else has, so I can live with little bit of carelessness… So, even though the poo detail was neglected, I still give the movie an A++ for all of the awesome effects and visual tricks that they threw in front of my eyes.

Hollow Man rating: Rules!

-Sean

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