Vegas: Day 1
January 1st 2006 @ 5:22 pm All Categories,Vacations

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Some friends and took a trip to Las Vegas last month… My long time friend, Tony, was throwing a birthday party for himself on Dec. 17th night at the Bellagio.

From the day I decided I was going to go, I planned on driving… I love road trips and hate airports, so this seemed like a no brainer. Plus, I count a road trip as part of the vacation and journey, and not just a chore to get to the location (like an airplane flight is). So, I set my sites on driving. And I hate going to vacations alone, so I tried to find someone that wanted to go with me, and my friend Tim, who also knows Tony, took me up on the offer. His sister also lives there and so, so for him, as well as the party, it’d be a trip to visit her. Tim’s younger brother decided to tag along too, so that he could see his sister.

After I had already planned the trip, I ended up dating Farah, she took me for a test drive for a week or two and I didn’t get dumped, so I decided to see if she wanted to go to Vegas too and she ended up saying, “Sure!”… I figured, “Hell, with Tim and his brother going, there’s still an empty seat in the back she could use. I ended up letting her ride up front with me instead because I’m such a chivalrous type of guy.

So, the day arrives and we get up at the crack of dawn and head out on the road for the 8-10 hour drive. The drive down 101 was fun and we we’re all laughing, joking, and rockin’ out to the music that I was forcing everyone to listen to… Ahhh, this is the reason I like road trips… The company you share, the conversation and the laughs and the good times everybody haves… So we make it over Pacheco pass and I’m talking and crackin’ jokes and all of a sudden it’s quiet and I turn around and everyone’s asleep… Hmph…

iPod In Car

The only things I need for a road trip.

I know proceed to drive the next three hours down Interstate 5 alone and depressed… I tried cranking the iPod and stereo up even louder than it already was to try and wake everyone up with an “Oh! I’m sorry… Did the music wake you up? Was it too loud? Sorry about that…” But nobody would wake up!… They slept right through that dude in The Vines screaming “I’M GONNA GET FREE, I’M GONNA GET FREE, I’M GONNA GET FREE!!!” at the top of his lungs… I had the speakers crackling and almost ready to blow out and everyone slept right through it… Hmph.

Eventually Tim’s brother did wake up, not to keep me company, but to tell me to pull over so he could take a leak. So we pulled over, got snacks, and took our potty break. I was putting air in my tires when Tim told me the men’s room was out of order and that they were going to the next station over. When I finished the tire-air thing… I went and checked out the bathroom and sure enough, there was a sign on it saying it was out of order, because the light was out… but right next to it, some old woman was exiting the women’s room, so I figured that the women’s room must be working fine… Fuck that “walking to some other gas station” thing… I’m just going to use this one. I was smart enough to have Farah guard the door so some woman wouldn’t come in and scream rape and have me ending up on the front page of the “Coalinga Bee” with a report about an ugly and creepy man stalking women in gas station restrooms. But by the time Farah made it over, some gas station attendant went in there to clean the women’s room… “Yo, buddy, maybe you can work on changing the light bulb in the men’s room… That seems a little more critical at the moment…” So I went in with the cleaner dude to pee in the women’s room… I was expecting it to be all sparkly and clean and smelling like flowers in there, but it was as big a shithole as men’s rooms usually are… You women are disgusting! There was even graffiti on the walls, I thought graffiti was just an idiot man thing. Although, I do have to admit, the toilet didn’t smell like piss like a men’s room… but then again, for women, it’s hard to miss the target when your point blank. Although, I do find it curious as to why so many men miss that target… I mean, it’s not like we’re shooting a can at one hundred yards! It’s a frickin’ one foot diameter hole that’s a foot away from your dick for chris’ sakes!!! Eh, but I do have to admit… I’ve wandered off target once or twice by being distracted by some bathroom, “Here I sit broken hearted, tried to shit, but only farted” poetry on the toilet stall wall….

Oh yeah… Vegas…

We all finished up at the gas station and piled back in the Jeep with drinks and snacks and got back on the Freeway…

Hours later, we decided to stop in Barstow for lunch… Talk about the land that time forgot! We cruised down the main drag looking for an eatery that didn’t look condemned… We drove by a “Bun Boy” but the place looked kind of sketchy, so we continued on for another few miles looking for something else and the only place we found that didn’t look infested was a little pizzeria… of course it ended up being closed at 1:00pm on a Friday afternoon!?!? Whatever… We continued back down the road the way we and past Bun Boy again and past the road we came in on and drove for a bit and found nothing on the other side. Where’s a goddamned Applebees when you finally need it!!! All of a sudden “Bun Boy” was looking good, so we went back there. It was a charming little diner and the people were friendly, but the food? I got Buffalo wings, but they were like Ore Ida frozen wings or something… no friggin’ hot sauce on them!!!… I guess the hot was supposedly built into the crispy crust or something… LAME! Tim’s brother, Lance, had a burger… I looked at it and wrinkled my nose… not impressed. Farah’s salad was supposed to be a Caeser salad… but it had Cheddar on it? It was a nice sized salad, however, whatever kind of salad it was. Tim’s the only one who scored and got a beautiful slice of Apple pie for lunch… Diners always seem to get pie right, you can’t go wrong with pie at a diner.


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