Vegas: Day 2
January 2nd 2006 @ 3:45 pm All Categories,Vacations

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…The next morning, Farah and I are laying in bed and sleeping in late… Some clunking noises next door wake me up, and I immediately snap to and realize, “MAIDS! OH SHIT! I DIDN’T PUT THE DO NOT DISTURB SIGN ON THE DOOR!!!” I quickly hop out of bed, completely naked, and start for the door. All of a sudden a knock comes on the door and a Spanish accent muffles through the door, “Maids. Can we come in?” Standing right in the middle of the room halfway between the bed and halfway between the door. I shout, “Uh! no, that’s all right, can you come back in an hou-!!!!” and I hear a click and the door opens and a maid comes on in with me standing buck naked in the middle of the room. “Oh! So sorry!!!”, she says and I say, “Uh, yeah… Uh, Can you come back in,… in an hour or so. Thaaanks.”, and the maid leaves. Farah peeks out from the covers and says, “Did she see you nak-”, “YES! Yes.. She saw me naked”, I reply. And Farah proceeds to laugh, while I crawl back under the covers… “Jeez, maids… why do they even bother to knock?”

Around or after Noonish, Farah and I finally get mobile, I’m sporting a Warp Core hangover from the night before, and we decide to go get a late breakfast at the Rainforest Café. I figured a cool smoothie in a serene surrounding would soothe my throbbing head… Forgetting the whole Rainforest Café experience, I instead I found myself sitting at the smoothie bar with my aching head in my hands, surrounded by the roar of fake rain, animatronic apes going, “OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH-OOH!!!!”, and kids all running around and screaming… As well as a party of people next to us that were all shouting, hollering, and doing shots… Tim met us there and we ate some appetizers and sucked down our smoothies. I felt like such a puss drinking a smoothie while the group of people next to us were all doing shots and partying.

After the Rainforest Café, and since we we’re already there, we went and checked out the tigers in the glass cage exhibit that they have inside the MGM Grand lobby. The tigers were all sleeping, providing an incredibly boring experience… Still, there was a crowd of people standing around staring at and pointing at the sleeping and dead looking tigers, “OOH! I THINK I SAW ONE MOVE A WHISKER!!!”. I think that if they’re going to have such an elaborate set up as this tiger environment, that they should force those tigers to stay awake and entertain the crowd during the day… Wake ‘em up and throw slabs of raw meat at them so we can see them in action… Or even better, open some trap door and have a shaking and confused baby fawn rise up on a hydraulic elevator so we can see the glory of nature unfurl right before our eyes! But, none of that was happening, so while everyone stood there wasting their time watching tigers sleep, we left.

We decided to head on over to the Aladdin Mall. Farah and I had walked through this Mall the night before while on our walk back to our hotel, but all of the shops were closed, so we decided to return today because, Farah, who’s into Hula dancing and Hawaiian junk, saw this Hawaiian shop there that she wanted to check out.

Vegas - Big Shirt

The worlds dumbes…, I mean,
largest Hawaiian shirt!

We meandered about, stopped for a beer, and checked out and wandered through some of the other shops until we finally found the Hawaiian store. While at the Hawaiian store, I found this awesome dancing Hula girl lamp… I would’ve sooo bought it, until I saw the price tag… $100.00… Fuck that… Try $40.00 and you’d have had a sale… Farah didn’t find anything either at the store, but we did get a photo of us with the world’s largest Hawaiian shirt that they had on display.

By now it was getting a little late in the afternoon, so we decided to start wandering back toward the hotel so that we could relax for a little bit before heading out to Tony’s big party. On the way back, while walking down the street, I remembered, “OH SHIT! This is a birthday party, I have to get a card or something… and a present too… Fuck! Birthdays are annoying!!!” So, on the street, we see a row of tourist shops, convenience marts and a Walgreen’s drug store. Tim bails off into one of the tourist shops to look for something, while Farah and I head into the convenience mart. Tim didn’t need to get a present for Tony because he had already had one that he’d brought from home, a “Brokeback Mountain” soundtrack CD that I think he got free from somewhere… Farah and I head into the convenience mart. I decided that I should get booze for the party, because I know Tony flew here to Vegas and that he wouldn’t want to have to drag some crap present back with him on the flight. In hindsight, I totally should have got him a big stuffed animal, or something that he’d have had to carry back on the plane and back with him. The mental picture of him carrying it on board, bonking passengers in the head with it and struggling to cram it in an overhead compartment is totally working for me and would have been way more funny. But without this foresight for an annoying stuffed animal gift, I instead, was looking for some booze as a present to help him fuel his party with. I come to find that the convenience store doesn’t carry hard liquor, just Champagne and other crap like that, Shit! No Vodka. LAME! So, we go to the Walgreen’s and find the same thing there, no hard booze… So, at the Walgreens, I just pick up a Batman card for Tony… At the checkout counter, I notice some laser pens, two for five bucks, the deal of the century! And so I buy four, one each for Farah and me, and one for Tim and Tony. When I ask, “Where can I get some booze?”, the Walgreen’s clerk says “You can usually find some at hotels.”

We make it back to the Luxor, and Tim says, “I’ll be in the sports book. Give me a call when your ready to go.”, and he takes off. I ask someone if there’s booze for sale in the hotel and I am pointed to the Sundry shop. In the shop, they don’t have any full size bottles of booze, just these weird little medium sized bottles… Ugh! So, I buy two of those and Farah and I head up to our room… In the elevator, there’s a dude struggling with the card key/button thing, and now it’s my turn to pay it forward and school him on how to operate the elevator. I act all smug, like it’s so obvious on how to do it, pretending that I was so smart that nobody had to teach me.

After a quick catnap, we get cleaned up and head down to the bottom floor casino, find Tim, and go and catch a cab to the Bellagio where Tony has a fancy suite reserved for the party. On the cab ride there, Tim, dry as a bone regarding personal [ahem] “party favors”, recalls an old story of mine from a previous trip to Vegas years before… (insert dreamy harpsichord music here), Years ago, when we didn’t know no better, Greg and I had just arrived in Vegas for the weekend, we dumped off our luggage in the hotel room at the MGM, and went down to catch a cab to head out down the strip to see the sights. We are about five seconds out of the parking lot, when Greg throws out to the driver, “Hey! Do you know where to score some coke?” The cab driver pauses for a bit, and replies, “Mmmm, yeah.” …To make a long story short, the cab driver takes us away from the strip, Greg gets his coke, and on the way back, Greg shares the coke with the cab driver, so in return, the cab driver pulls out a joint and smokes us out… I’m also drinking a cocktail in the cab, and so now it’s about one hour since we arrived in Vegas and the cab driver returns us to the strip and dumps us off at the Star Trek bar, and we’re seriously partying. I do have to note that this was a long time ago, [cough-five years ago-cough] when we were young and foolish. Needless to say, that was an most excellent Vegas trip.


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rss 5 comments
  1. Rick
    March 17th, 2006 | 4:49 pm

    I guess I’ll be the first to test this.

    Amusing story as usual. So, did you and Farah get married while in Vegas? Did you leave that part out?

  2. March 17th, 2006 | 5:58 pm

    Yeah, it was on the list of “Things to do!”, but we were only there for a day and a half… So, it came down to either going to the Star Trek bar, or getting married… and so I took her to the Star Trek bar… Anyone can get married at any old time, but how often are you able to visit the Star Trek bar!!! Yeah! Hardly ever!! So, I figured that she’d rather see the Star Trek bar.

  3. Rick
    March 17th, 2006 | 6:04 pm

    Duh! Why didn’t you get married at the Star Trek bar? Could’ve killed two birds with one stone.

  4. Rudy
    March 20th, 2006 | 9:09 am

    Hey Sean, looks good so far. Love the big ass Hawaiian shirt. I even know the store…..Denise and I went in there while we were in Vegas last year. I cannot decide if you are smiling so big because you just like all things Hawaiian, or because that was the morning after you got laid? Hmmm? Good thing Farah is smiling big too!!

  5. Matthew
    March 20th, 2006 | 4:42 pm

    What I don’t get is….if this is the morning after they first ‘knocked boots’ what is Farah doing smiling? Was she thinking of Brad Pitt while Sean ‘The Human Trogolodyte’ was fondling her? Nice shirt though, in a few years Sean will be able to fit his man boobs into it quite nicely.

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