The legend of the Chupacabra!
May 8th 2006 @ 1:21 pm All Categories,Random

Over the weekend, Farah and I were over my sisters having dinner with her, Mike, her husband, and their four kids.

We were discussing an upcoming camping trip that we’re all going on (along with Matt and Janet) to a campground in Santa Cruz. While talking about the trip, my nephew, Nikolai blurts out, “Are there any wild animals there!?!?” To which I answered, “Not really, although you do want to be careful of the CHUPACABRA!!!”, “The what?”, Nikolai replies… And I start describing the fabled goat sucking monster that comes in the middle of the night, pierces the necks of goats and other farm animals with their sharp fanged teeth and proceeds to drain them of all their BLOOOOOOOD leaving a trail of dead carcasses all over the land!!!…”

As I’m telling the story of the legendary Chupacabra to all four wide eyed, attention struck children, I notice my sister on my side giving me the “ix-nay on the onster-may” eyes, since she, and not me, is going to be the one dealing with all four kids bawling their brains out while having nightmares in the middle off the night…

I immediately get the hint and start doing damage control by saying, “Uh, uh… but, uh, lucky for us, the Chupacabra isn’t native to these parts! It mainly exists in Mexico and the Southwest area of the US… there haven’t been any Chupacabra sightings around here, so you guys don’t have to worry about him.” As Sherry and Mike start to relax about my idiocy of me scaring the kids with monster thing, I continue, “…BUT YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT THE UFOs!!! They’re everywhere, and they come in the middle of the night and ABDUCT you while you sleep!!! Then they do all sorts of WEIRD experiments on you, but you won’t remember anything because they WIPE your memor-”, and my sister snaps her head back over to me and yells, “WILL YOU SHUT UP!!” and turns back and shakes her head at my stupidity…

I can’t wait for the camping trip now!… Matt! We totally have to get a freaky alien sounding whistle and some red and blue colored gels for our flashlights and shine them on their tents in the middle of the night while blowing the whistle!!! Er… although, with my luck, one of the kids will come running out of the tent all screaming and freaked out, think I’m an alien, and kick me in the balls… So, maybe not… plus the fact that I’m sure I’ll be all passed out and snoring immediately after dinner… The kids will stay up later than me and they’ll probably be the ones shaking my tent and scaring ME in the middle of the night and I’ll come running out of my tent, groggy, and in my tighty underwear running around all dazed and hideous wondering and grumbling, “What the Hell is going on?!?!”… and a new monster legend will be sighted and added to the annals of cryptozoology… The fabled “White Blubber Creature” identified by it’s glazed eyes, the slobber encrusted around it’s mouth, pale wrinkled skin, strange sporadic curly hairs growing off of it’s shoulders and back, and stench of bad breath… An ugly monster that will scare children for years to come. “Be careful, from out of nowhere, this White Blubber Creature will come at night, and eat all of your food!”

In our dinner conversation, I was also surprised to find that Sher also didn’t know what a Chupacabra was… God! Sher, I suppose you don’t know who “Bigfoot” or the “Loch Ness” monster is either… Jeez…

Here…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chupacabra

-Sean

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